I know you might not like it

I was a fangirl of a boyband group. I loved them like I knew them. I talked about them to friends like we all knew each other. I had even been familiar with every member’s voice. I did make a fiction story about them, like I really knew their characters.

It was very long time ago. Now I don’t even care they plan a comeback concert in 2018, I didn’t, until a shocking news spreaded. One of the members committed suicide. I didn’t cry–my lil sis did, later she finally told me that she did cry, a bit though. I was just a bit surprised. He was the type of talkative member, lots of laughter, smile, joking around, yeah he was, like years ago when the last time I watched their shows. Knowing he committed suicide is like…really…?

Since yesterday I’d looked around youtube for their old videos. I know it’s silly, yet I can’t help it. My sis and I even chatted on Whatsapp–one of the longest convo ever–she still likes the group. We talked about them, I asked her not to cry cause suicide is unforgivable in our religion, so don’t cry for such a death. She knows it. She just told me that he was depressed. Okay, I feel sorry for it, I was asking where his friends, the other members. My sis said it seemed to be a depression after his solo concert this year. I even feel more sorry. Nobody ever wants to be lonely. I don’t know exactly what he was facing, but one I know that depression arises from loneliness.

I know you might not like what I’m doing. I just want to tell you the other side of mine that you might never know. Sometimes I do silly, unimportant, and unfaedah things.